How to sleep in a non-sleeping enviroment

Sometimes working long hours can bring fatigue during the day that would be handled easily with a little nap. However, your employer expects you to be awake. Not only are you expected to be awake; but showered, clothed and ready to do something profitable. But what about that fatigue?

Fortunately, you have 2 options. You can inflict harmful amounts of amino acids and sugars upon your heart with a variety of energy drinks, or you can get the rest you need while appearing awake. Impossible, you say? Well, nay-sayer, read on! How to be appear awake while not being awake at all. Credit is due to Calvin & Hobbes for this...

Here's what you need:

Two ping pong balls

Velcro

Sticky-Tack

1. Cut the ping-pong balls in half

Most Ping-Pong balls have logos on them, so that's why you need two.


"Ta-daaaa!"

2. Cut out two circles from a strip of velcro

Or you can make a Zorro mask for your pet hamster

3. Attach circles with sticky-tack

Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? But you need to test it out to make sure it looks convincing enough.

The First Test (Initial placement)

Hmmm. Looking kind of psychotic here. Needs readjusting...

The Second Test (Adjust the focusing of the eyes)

Perfect. It looks like I just pounded a 4-pack of Red Bull.

The Third Test (body positioning)

Excellent! I look like I'm really into the P & L auditing of a 10 year old spreadsheet!

Remember, your posture helps with the illusion.

Road Test

Here, I maybe getting an ingenius idea on how to market pig's fat as a diet food

Oops.

Remember. You may have to strap yourself into a chair to keep your posture in a more convincing "awake-looking" stance otherwise they may think you died.

To avoid the inevitable backlash or unemploymentness, it might serve you well just to go to bed early.